What Should I Do Now

Unlike Jang Jinsoo who imagined all kinds of things on the way down in the elevator, there was no big fuss in Room 2701 of Jamsil Lake Palace.

"My head is complicated, so I'll be alone."

Even before any problems occurred, Haeil went into the room.

"Haeil, are you in a lot of pain?"

A pale face and serious expression. 

No Haeil's mother Park Seungah decided to call the homeroom teacher to ask what had happened at school.

She lingered outside Haeil's tightly shut bedroom door, which showed no signs of opening.

"If you're sick, tell Mom you're sick. And you didn't even go to class today—"

Park Seungah wanted to tell him to go to school, but sensing no movement from behind the closed door, Seungah sighed and folded her arms in front of the calendar. She counted the days as she looked over her schedule.

The schedule was packed with Korean (preparation/exam), English (preparation/TOEIC/conversation), Mathematics (preparation/exam/mock test), Chinese characters, French, essay writing, debate, and more.

"Well, missing one day shouldn't bring his grades down."

Haeil was almost in high school, about to start a long marathon. It should be okay for him to take a day off. It was a bit frustrating, but wasn't it normal for kids this age to go through puberty? This level of teenage rebellion could be tolerated.

Park Seungah turned on her phone and added the ingredients for rice porridge to her cart.

She tapped the Call button, and her call logs with the school principal, homeroom teacher, and tutor appeared.

Principal (56:59)

Homeroom Teacher (1:12:38)

Tutor (27:29)

:

Seungah chose the principal, whom she had spent the most time talking to.

"Teacher, Haeil doesn't seem well. He seems sick today so I think he needs to rest at home. Yes, thank you as always. Ah, isn't it up to Haeil to decide about college entrance exams? As a parent, shouldn't I avoid interfering? I plan to respect Haeil's opinion whether he wants to go to a foreign language high school, an autonomous private high school, or stay here. The top-ranked high schools would be best, of course, haha. What? An entrance exam briefing? What briefing are you talking about...? For college already? My, as a mother what could be more important? I need to drop everything and be there. So when did you say it was?"

A long conversation followed.

#

"Whew..."

Halo threw his bag on the bed and set his guitar case down on the floor. His body felt lighter without the heavyweight, but there was still an invisible pressure.

Still, it was better than before.

On the way home, his thoughts had become fairly organized.

He wasn’t confused or chaotic anymore.

He had moved past denial, anger, bargaining, and depression into the acceptance stage.

"Let’s think realistically."

Halo was clearly dead, or at least nearly dead. From the shock, he ended up in an unfamiliar world.

"That's all there is to it."

It was an incomprehensible but definite reality.

"So what should I do now?"

In fact, the answer to that was also clear.

There was nothing he could do.

The only thing was to accept the reality as it was. He had no way to understand or resolve this strange phenomenon. He was powerless regarding this phenomenon and had no choice but to accept it.

Even if he gets kicked out of this body someday.

Or ends up stuck in this body forever. There was nothing he could do.

Halo disliked that powerlessness and uncertainty, but he wasn't afraid. More than preparing for a crisis that might happen someday, he tended to enjoy the present moment itself. Death didn't have that big an impact on him either.

So Halo thought about what he would do and how he would live with this body from now on.

In fact, if this had been the usual him, he would have already taken action. However, one thing was stuck in him like a thorn.

"What do you want to do, kid?"

The owner of this body.

If it had been an empty body without a soul from beginning to end, he wouldn't have cared. But this body had an owner. At least up until he entered the recording studio, it wasn't his will. Clearly, until he came to his senses, there was a real owner of this body.

"Huh?"

He felt a sudden disgust welling up, like wearing clothes he stole from someone else without permission.

He wasn't that ethical of a person, but he didn't take pleasure in harming others either.

That might be different if he was wandering far from home though.

Anyway.

"I hope you tell me what to do for you."

Halo angrily brushed his bangs back.

Halo out of all people, acting like a teenage brat.

Even when he was told to read Damian and write an essay, he had this kind of dilemma.

He knew what he had to do and was always confident in his talent, furthermore, in his entire life.

That confidence had not an ounce of fear or hesitation.

Not even when he ran away from home without a penny at fifteen.

His manager later heard the story and was amazed, calling him “totally crazy”.

It was No Haeil, the kid whose name was similar to his, that made him feel this dilemma.

The wandering footsteps outside the room eventually faded away, and the room became still. No matter how long he waited, he couldn't hear the missing owner's voice.

In the end, Halo gave up waiting for an answer.

He saw a guitar sprawled on the floor. Then, his gaze gradually moved to the bag.

Halo carefully transferred everything from the bag to the bed.

Starting with the notebook and pencil case.

No Haeil's composition notebook. Lastly, the phone.

Halo, who had tossed an accessory shaped like kidney beans by the pillow, picks up the composition notebook again.

"Hmm."

It said 'composition notebook,' but it was actually No Haeil's diary. From contemplations about music to doodles and notes. The very last page contained the only musical score created by No Haeil.

While looking at the diary that contained both the desire to make music and a sense of deviation, Halo's lips twisted.

It didn't sit well with him.

Halo wished No Haeil could focus on just one thing.

Whether he wanted to be a model student or pursue music. Of course, asking Halo to become a quiet, model student was a request he could not fulfill.

Considering the limited time ahead, No Haeil was living his life inconsistently, like a coward.

Halo didn't particularly like this type.

Certainly, he had no intention of living like this.

"If you can't decide, live as you please."

Halo tossed the notebook onto the bed.

"I'm ambitious. I have a lot I want to do. I don't have time to contemplate like you."

He needed to understand what kind of world this was.

There was a lot he needed to do in the future.

"Just, I'll use this situation appropriately."

Halo got up from the seat.

He noticed a desktop computer stuck to the window.

"Don't come back for a long time if you want. Even better if you don't come back at all."

He had to learn about this world.

He wanted to know its history.

And he greedily wanted to taste its music.

This world must be full of music he had never heard before.

He placed his hand on the unfamiliar device.

It wasn't hard to figure out, just copying what Jang Jinsoo had shown him. Soon he got the hang of it.

He wasn't some ancient senior citizen on his deathbed. He was just a man in his prime 30s. It was easy to adapt to the new generation's tech.

He waved his hand like a famous conductor, smoothly maneuvering the mouse cursor.

Before long his legs were up on the desk.

He closed his eyes with the headphones on, and then endless music poured in like water.

His breathing quickened.

This was heaven.

#

This world was crazy.

Halo briefly glanced toward the sound of knocking, then got sucked back into the computer again.

NuTube's algorithm had stolen his time like quicksand. Especially after searching for the name of the rock band he saw at Jang Jinsoo's place, he kept listening to their music over and over. The Beatles, Rolling Stone, Airship, Queen...

He liked the silly names, and the music was even better.

He wanted to savor it but also devour it in one bite.

It was that charming. His feet unconsciously tapped along.

If he hadn't died, would his world have produced this much music too? He should have lived longer. What a waste. Still, the sounds of this world captivated his thoughts.

"Haeil, you have to go to school."

Another knock sounded.

He wanted to enjoy the music alone in this cramped space for several days, but reality wouldn't leave him alone.

He wondered why he had to go to school so badly.

He wasn't school-age anymore, and a diploma wasn't that important for the music he wanted to pursue.

Knock knock knock.

The knocking got louder and more intense.

Fatigue from the sleepless night rose up late, stirring irritation. If it was his manager on the other side of that door, he would have yelled.

But this was No Haeil's home, and the person knocking was No Haeil's mother. That fact grabbed hold of his last nerve.

"Yes."

Halo took off his headphones. Some music sheets were scattered on the floor.

It was hard to sit still when you hear good music—traces of the inspiration that came and went in that short night.

"Oh my."

As soon as the door opened, a mellow coffee aroma wafted out.

"Were you up all night?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

Halo stretched and headed toward the coffee smell, breezing past the steaming pot to the coffee maker to pour himself a cup.

As he leaned back heavily into the chair to appreciate the coffee aroma, he felt a subtle gaze on him.

"What is it?"

"Oh, um, nothing."

With his uncle-like appearance, Park Seungah had a lot she wanted to say, but there was another topic she especially wanted to bring up.

"More than that, what's that instrument? Is it really yours? Where did you get it?"

The question from yesterday that she hadn't been able to ask yet.

Thinking this mellow taste wasn't that great, Halo calmly set down his cup.

"Where did I get it? I bought it of course."

No Haeil must have bought it.

Surely he didn't steal it.

It was a bit surprising that he lived in an apartment, but based on his mother's outfit and posture, they didn't seem unable to afford nice things.

He wasn't sure if the language of this country had a posh (TLN: Upper-class British) accent. It wasn't his native language here anyway. But her clear enunciation indicated they weren't the poverty class at least.

"You bought it? With what money?"

"Part-time job?"

"When do you have time to work part-time? No other payment texts have come in...don't tell me you took cash out of your bank account?"

Halo nodded vaguely.

Park Seungah's eyes sharpened for a moment, then softened.

She seemed about to nag him like she would scold him but held her tongue. As if forgiving it just this once, she slid the pot toward him.

"Now let's eat. If you drink coffee on an empty stomach, it'll upset your stomach."

Saying that, Park Seungah also drank coffee.

With plenty of milk and brown sugar.

Does it taste like coffee if you drink it like that? Halo wrinkled his nose, imagining the sweetness.

By the way, No Haeil's mother didn't react as strongly as Halo expected. In a strict household that Halo was familiar with, seeing a guitar would have been shocking, akin to seeing a devil.

"Don't recklessly use your savings next time. That's money set aside for when you go to college. It's not meant to be spent now. I'm always telling you, there will be plenty of time to play after getting into college."

She scolded him for spending some unknown amount without asking, and for using it recklessly as he pleased.

As Halo lowered his head, Park Seungah came around behind him and squeezed his shoulders.

"And tell Mom next time if you want to buy something. If my son wants to pick up a new hobby, why would I object? Especially if it's a hobby like this instead of video games, I completely welcome it."

"...A hobby?"

"Yes, a hobby. Well, I personally think the violin or piano would be better, but, you kids these days..."

"Ah."

Halo let out a soft sigh.

He realized why Park Seungah let it go so easily.

This family was more open-minded than he thought, even though the lines were clearly drawn.

Halo raised the corner of his mouth.

Even at the age of thirty, the spirit of rebellion that never died was surfacing.

"What if I don't plan on keeping it as just a hobby?"

"...What's that supposed to mean?"

Park Seungah's expression and tone hardened.

Other than some differences, they weren't much different.

Halo thought,

How would No Haeil have reacted?

Unfortunately, he couldn't know the answer.

Because the one here now wasn't No Haeil, but Halo.

"I said I don't plan on keeping it as just a hobby."

He stated it again, politely, so she wouldn't think she misheard.

Like the mother in his old memories seeing the devil itself, Park Seungah's face drained of color.

"If you don't plan on keeping it as a hobby, then what?"

"What do you think?"

Asked back instead of answering, Park Seungah's face turned blue then crimson red.

"Are you joking with your mother this early in the morning?"

Parents were similar no matter what country they were from, it seemed to him.

Halo wondered how to reply.

The kind, polite words his manager would want were not among the multiple-choice answers.

Just then, the alarm went off with a beep beep beep.

The clock showed 7 AM.

Time to go to school.

Halo grinned mischievously and picked up his bag.

Exactly as it was yesterday.

"I'm going to school."

“What did you just say? Haeil!”

The door slammed shut. In a flash, Halo wiped the smile from his face. The corners of his mouth drooped down to the floor.

He now understood approximately why No Haeil had come out so wishy-washy. The atmosphere of this household would not accept No Haeil doing music.

The producer's remark about hiding NuTube. The woman's expression when she saw the guitar, Jang Jinsoo's subtle efforts to help out a little. There had been several signs.

A vague old memory surfaced.

The home he had clashed fiercely with in the past.

In the end, he ran away when he was fifteen. His body went through hardships but he lived a splendid life.

They reconciled when he reached thirty, but that didn't gloss over that period.

"I'm good at things like this too."

It was something he had already experienced once before.

Having overcome it once already, it wasn't too difficult now.

Just rather annoying.

Got an error? Report now
Comments

Comments [0]